Bow ‘em.
Dear 8lb 9oz tiny, precious,
once was lost but now is found, baby Jesus is the manger. Can I just start by
saying that if we were sorority sisters, Jesus, I would totally run up to you
in the bar and jump up and down and scream because it’s been so darn long?! Oh
my You!
So HOW DEE DO, Jesus? We come
to you today with great thanks for bringing us back to the most holy of times
in the most sacred of lands. Jesus, I know you made, you know, everything, but
better than any mountain majestic, any shimmering sea, better than all the
stars in the sky, small savior, is a Fall Football Saturday in Athens, GA.
(Though it’s hotter than that place we’re not allowed to talk about) And in the
midst of this (warm) heaven we call Dawg Country, is a shrine named Sanford
Stadium, where our beloved Dawgs face off today.
Jesus, please forgive us our
off-season mishaps, drug convictions, weapons charges and overall inability to
stop being thugs. Dawgs will be Dawgs, after all. I know we’ve given ourselves
quite a reputation in the SEC, but we ask for absolution, just as you pardoned
those dirty whores way back in the day.
Today little Lord, the
Georgia Bulldogs take on the Buffalo…wait Jesus, let me look this
up…….Bulls. Wait, the Buffalo Bulls? Jesus, that’s just silly. Moving on.
Little Christ, please place
your protection on the Dawgs. Let their runs be swift and passes long. Let
injuries be minimal. Let every person donned in red and black drink whiskey
till their heart’s content. I ask
for good tidings to all of our brethren in the SEC and college football fans
everywhere.
God Bless this Kick-off
Weekend. Best darn day of the year.
In Your name we rock this
house. GO DAWGS. Amen.
Um. PS, Jesus. You know how up there I said good tidings
to all our SEC brothers? I didn’t
mean Auburn. Or Florida.
No comments:
Post a Comment